I would do anything not to feel right now. I haven’t posted in awhile and I’m sure I’ll get into that...I’m positive I will but, right now I need to get this out.
I’m currently in the psych part of my nursing degree and my OCD is having a field day. Attaching to every little word that I know isn’t up to date info but legit doesn’t matter in the grand scheme.
I found a support person to go to in the nursing building. I did the right thing and found someone to vent to. But, even when you do the right thing sometimes you fuck up.
I challenged my actual psych professor today on something that honestly wasn’t even that big of a deal but, I was already agitated and I’m pissed that a comment about 15 minute rounds is the hill I decided to fall on because it legit DOESN’T MATTER and the shameful part is I MIGHT NOT EVEN BE COMPLETELY RIGHT.
I’m embarrassed and I’m frustrated with my professors response but, I think there’s something bigger here. I just don’t want to rehash this shit in my schooling because I do it all in my personal life.
Tomorrow, I’m going to share my story with a class of 20 seniors from all over the county that are interested in the medical professions. I was one of them 4 years ago. I’m extremely nervous but, I’m also excited. I’ll be able to talk about mental health through my eyes instead of basing it on 40 year old data and my professors objectives.
I’m exhausted by this feeling. Anger/Frustration drain me dry. But, this isn’t the end of the world I just need to keep my shit together and my mouth shut for the next 3-4 weeks and I’m done with psych nursing.
I hate when someone has this kind of power over my emotions but, I can’t help it she makes me heated even though she might not be the root cause of my feelings.
Sincerely,
Your Strong Female Lead
