My tinder bio should read:
Just another 20 something who thinks true love can come from a dating app and whose best pick up line is “hey how’s it going?” And, if you respond to it I will most likely ask you some mundane question that will receive a mundane answer and then I will use your mundaneness against you and never respond again even though I initiated the mundane.
I know that there’s this concept that no one is “good” at romance but, that doesn’t change the fact that I’m bad at it. Here’s the truth. I see myself as being loved the same way people love animals at the zoo. We like to go see them and wave at them and laugh but, no one wants to take an elephant home really. And no one really wants to know how that elephant is doing because historically zoo animals have been abused and if you don’t know then you can still enjoy their presence without the burden of knowing and not doing anything to help them...well that got dark quick. What I’m trying to say is my friends are great and I love them but, they have their own partners and relationship to nurture. They cannot constantly be worrying about their wacky friend. I want someone who is special to me. Meanwhile I’m in my 20th year of life singling it up and yeah, ok maybe zoo animals are locked up but at least most of them are mated.
I know, another girl talking about being single, what a cliche. And yes it is a cliche but like every other single girl telling her story would say “BUT IM DIFFERENT” (cue whining). In all seriousness though, I’m not different. If you google “being the last single friend in your friend group” there are like 4,000 buzzfeed/refinery29 articles about it. And this is because no matter how hard you want to believe it “singledom” is not unique.
So what’s my edgy twist? How do I make my lonely story special? I think that admitting that it’s not is the first step. There are SO MANY single people on this planet and it’s important to realize that every person who is in a relationship now, was single at one point. So there’s hope for all of us right? Well yes I guess if you look at it that way but, as a species that longs for connection “waiting for the right person” is disheartening. That’s why dating apps are so popular. It claims to speed up the wait time but, for those of us looking for something more than that we either have to lower our standards just to be asked to for a hookup or remain single. Disclaimer: there’s nothing wrong with being single. BUT, it doesn’t mean that wanting that partnership is wrong either. There’s a difference between “boy crazy” and the natural yearning for relation. Relationships offer validation, a support system, and someone to be genuinely interested in your answer to the question “how are you?” I mean that’s what relationships should be. What I think a lot of single people forget, me included, is that many of the relationships we look at with envy aren’t as happy as we would like to think. If you think about it, with all the unhealthy relationships going on there should be a lot more single people in this world but, the same societal standards and human needs that make being single feel so shitty are the same ones keeping them in their awful relationship. And there’s no way to tell who’s better off. It’s the same concept as people with straight hair what curly hair and people with curly hair are the opposite. You want what you can’t have. And oh man people are un-fucking-predictable. You never know what they are going to do or what they want or what they like so the only thing to do is wait and see. However I don’t wait...ever. Instead of waiting and putting myself out there, I automatically assume that they won’t like me. It’s easier that way. No rejection. No risk. And until I change my ways I’ll be single and I know that. So, yeah maybe I’ll be single for a while longer. I don’t have any great advice or anything like that. Keep trying, be yourself do all of that, there’s no right or wrong. Meanwhile I’m just gonna try to convince people to keep coming to the fucking zoo.
Sincerely,
Your Strong Female Lead
