Tonight I was surrounded by some of my favorite people. Captain, Doug, Olive, and my other long time best friend June came over to watch the Oceans movies, ending with Oceans Thirteen my favorite movie of all time. June moved to her college town and stayed to work for the summer and is a world traveler every chance she gets. This is something I always have admired her for but, also caused me to miss her quite a bit. So, when she said she was coming into town for her cousins graduation I was elated.
The five of us watched oceans eleven, survived oceans twelve, and by oceans thirteen everyone was tired but hung in there for my sake which is the best thing ever.
I found myself often reaching out and holding my friend’s hands or resting my head on their shoulders almost as if to physically center myself in the moment with these people who have been keeping me afloat during these trying times of depression and the heartache it brings. They may not know what they do for me, and sometimes I’m not so fun to be around but they stay by my side and that’s something I’ll never forget.
I said bye to June just moments ago. Tears welled up in my eyes as I wouldn’t see her again until early August but, it felt good to see her and I knew that I needed to survive July to see her again, it gives me another reason to fight.
Tonight, I also confronted the topic of Captain moving away to college which isn’t happening until August but, I’ve been avoiding the topic for so long because it’s a hard thing to wrap your mind around. It’s hard when your rocks have to go live their own lives even though, in reality, nothing makes you happier then to see them thrive.
My heart aches but, is full and that’s a good kind of heartache because it means you care.
Sincerely,
Your Strong Female Lead
